Thursday, 10 November 2011


Last year I wrote this.

This year my other half spent the summer in Afghanistan. He'll be gone again in January.

Being the civilian in such a relationship is hard. It makes you very sad, very angry and very jealous of their work. You spend your nights wrapping care packages and your work breaks in the queue at the post office to send them. You sleep surrounded by pillows. Your single friends tell you how they have been alone for months and they still survive, you smile. The MOD website is visited hourly. Your heart always jumps when anyone mentions Afghanistan and you try you best not to cry at your desk when you hear the words 'the family has been informed' on the news. You find out pretty quickly who your good friends are and those who arn't. You hate 'normal' couples. You get bored of the statement 'You're so brave, I don't know how you do it', and long for the words 'are you ok, what can I do to help?'. You count down the days and you learn to survive until their return... with the constant worry that maybe they wont. But what do you do if you're the one left behind? What if you didn't get to say goodbye properly.

I imagine these thoughts have haunted generations of women.

So this year I will remember the fallen and their sacrifice but there will also be a little part of me that will be thinking of the partners in these service people's lives, the girls and boys who have said their last goodbye and who bravely march past the cenotaph in remembrance of those who shall not grow old.

1 comment:

  1. Hello Jessica,
    I came by just to thank you for your comment and for helping to confirm what I'd done was right (WOO! A BIG THANK YOU! HA!) but I read your last post and had to comment on that too.
    My best friend's boyfriend is an officer and is serving in Afghanistan as we speak (he is a very good friend of mine too). I can't claim to be close to understanding what it must be like but I just wanted to say I know a little of what you're going through and hope you've got great people around you to help you during the low times. Keep smiling, when he's at home it'll be all the sweeter :-) s-a x